Dear ones,
Everyone of us has both masculine and feminine energy coursing through our veins, no matter how we identify (or not) with gender. And we all need both at different times.
As women, based on our biology and hormones, many times our essence is feminine. And as men, based on their biologies and hormones, often their essence is masculine. Though this is not always the case.
But we live in world that disproportionately favors the masculine -- masculine qualities, individuals, bodies, and stories. So much so, that men, women and all folks can spend a lifetime wearing masculine masks in order to be accepted, promoted, and even loved.
But this has grave consequences, especially if your true essence is feminine.
If you find yourself struggling with intimacy, feeling depleted, lacking joy, or out of touch with your sense of spirit, check out this week's tips to amp up your feminine fire...
1. DEVELOP YOUR INTUITION
This is a practice of a lifetime. Women, in particular, have been socially conditioned to be pleasers/pleasing. This runs deep in so many of us. Yet as we outsource our sense of happiness on the conditional state and constant needs of others, we distance ourselves from our own voices and desires.
By developing your intuition and experimenting with what's known as felt sense, or increased inner body awareness and knowing, you find our way back to a more feminine sense of wisdom.
Start small and see if you can hear your inner response for little decisions.
What do I want for lunch today?
Should I exercise harder or give myself a break?
Should I stay up and watch this show with my partner or go to bed?
Asking yourself these small questions regularly and not tolerating indecision will help you cultivate you inner voice for when the bigger, more important decisions arise.
When we're first HEARING and then making decisions that are in integrity with our intuition, we'll feel safer, healthier and more alive.
2. DO SOMETHING SENSUAL
Wisdom and sensuality almost feel like they belong in different categories, don't they? How sad. But true.
Sensuality: enjoyment, expression or the pursuit of physical (especially sexual) pleasure.*
In most of our daily lives, there is little time for pleasure, not to mention sensuality. But the female body was WIRED for pleasure. The brilliant Regina Thomashauer points out in her book, Pussy Reclamation, that the female clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings. There is not another part of the body, male or female that has even 150! If this doesn't indicate that our very bodies were made for pleasure, I don't know what does!
Doing something purely out of pleasure allows you to feel more connected to your feminine wisdom. Pepper in enjoyment into your day. Doodle while on a phone call. Take a walk for lunch. Indulge in a chat after dropping your kids off at school, or enjoy a delicious piece of chocolate.
Even better, have more sex. Even with yourself. For a masculine body, ejaculation is a release that can take many hours or days to recover from, leaving him feeling tired or depleted. For the feminine body, however, ejaculation stimulates feelings of ease, calm, expansiveness, energetic lift, and self-confidence.
Don't be shy. Get comfy with pleasure or all sorts.
3. BEAUTIFY SOMETHING
At our IGNITE Retreat, we go into depth about why environment matters so much for a woman. One of the quickest ways to feel more open, creative, playful, joyful and easy-going is to beautify something.
Whether it's a room in your house, organizing your closet, making a delicious meal or even wearing a new outfit or makeup, these seemingly small changes can accentuate your femininity in a world that's begging to you to be more masculine.
No matter how you identify, we can all benefit from developing our femininity. And if you're feminine at your core, it's not only a fun idea to try on, it's essential for your health and longevity.
Here's to igniting your feminine fire.
PS - want to learn more about this conversation? Read about it in my book or join us IGNITE, a Retreat dedicated to reclaiming your feminine fire.
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*https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sensual