Sometimes I get confused. I think that my worth has to do with something outside of me. I slip back into the pattern of unintentionally believing that my value comes from my accomplishments. How much can I do? How many gatherings can I host...books can I write...retreats can I put on...classes can I attend? And on and on and on. It is only my emotional exhaustion that clues me into the fact I'm running that self-sabotaging pattern again. I live in a community that over-values masculine energy. One of the healers that will be at our IGNITE Retreat cued me into this when I was receiving massage in Crestone. I told him I was from Boulder. "Ah, Boulder." He said knowingly, and somewhat skeptically. "Boulder can be a difficult place for men to live," he suggested. "It's a town filled with women run by masculine energy." Interesting. I thought to myself, curiosity piqued. Of course, there is nothing wrong with masculine energy in women. It is what inspires us to focus, accomplish, drive, achieve, direct and more. But too much of this in a woman can be self-distructive. It drains us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually and leaves our adrenals completely cashed. When we over focus on what we do as opposed to who we are (DOING over BEING) we create an endless cycle of attachment to achieving in order to feel good about ourselves. We become what the Buddhist call Hungry Ghosts: mouths open, bellies swollen, never able to satiate our craving for bigger, better and more. It's a disturbing image, but a profound analogy.
When we shift our awareness from our minds and into our spirits, we remember thatBEING over DOING -- who we are, how we show up to families, workplaces and communities, matters more than any single accomplishment. So, today my message is simple: YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH, AS YOU ARE. You are doing so well, and handling so much. Not everyone sees all you're doing, but there is nothing more you have to do to be enough. Next time you feel yourself getting stressed about what you have not accomplished, remember these 3 things:
The energy you bring (frenzied or content) spreads. Accomplishments fade.
To break achiever attachment, find ways to interrupt your pattern. Take a walk, not a run, do a YIN yoga class, not a power class, book a retreat to change your energetic flow.
Be gentle with yourself. Be forgiving. Say to yourself in your head, "I am perfect just as I am," as a daily practice. It is enough to just enjoy our very existence.
You are absolutely perfect as you are. Love, Brie