If you are a woman, you've likely said YES when you actually meant NO. Maybe you've gotten better at saying NO. Maybe, like me, you've worked on it your entire lifetime.
If you've been one of my dear readers on this blog for a while, you know I've spoken a great deal about having a strong NO and drawing boundaries with friends, family, partners, co-workers and others who have strong expectations of, and desires from you.
But this new spin on being careful with my YES has me feeling giddy. It feels gentler and more intentional, less aggressive and something new I'm looking forward to trying on in my life.
Check it out and see what you think...
We all love to say YES to things. It feels good and comes out of the mouth lighter and more delightfully than a NO. But as everything is, a YES is an energetic exchange of power, whether we realize it or not.
We women often say YES to so many things, so many people, so many new tasks that we are left completely depleted, and feeling powerless. We say YES to so much, we lose ourselves in the process.
But we can do better than this. Consider this:
For the very next decision you make, try these 3 TIPS before saying YES without a thought.
1. PAUSE. See how it feels in your body. Your body has a natural response, and if you pause for even 5 seconds before dropping your YES, you'll be able to sense what its trying to tell you.
2. IF IT'S NOT A FU*K YES, IT'S A NO. I've heard this spun so many ways and I find it to be a great reminder. If I am only "sort of" into something: an idea, a friendship, a book, an opportunity, it is just not worth sacrificing my energy for. End of story.
3. IMAGINE IT WERE TOMORROW. One of the things I've done in the past is say YES to long off commitments because I envision my calendar as blank, and that I'll have so much more time or interest down the line. Do you ever do this?
So we schedule engagements, meetings, lunch dates months in advance believing we'll be more free/interested then. But, life will be just as full then as it is now. And if you aren't that interested now, you won't be then either.
If you wouldn't do it tomorrow, don't plan to do it a month from now. A good rule of thumb.
There you have it, friends. Here's to being more careful with that ever so precious YES of yours!
Want to say YES to yourself the way you've been saying it to everyone else?
JOIN US ON RETREAT!