In a world where enlightenment and elevated consciousness are common party conversation topics, we can all relate to being seekers and self-explorers.
We are obsessively committed to our health and to healing, particularly when it comes to wellness in the physical realm.
In thinking about our mental emotional health, however, we are often shockingly attached to the pains of our past, and at our own energetic and spiritual expense.
We all have stories about hardships we've been experienced. Some are down right horrifying -- illnesses, disabilities, incest, rape, being gravely wronged by someone we hold dear, nasty divorces, painful challenges with our children, the list goes on.
We can think of our past pains almost instantaneously. And many of us, whether knowingly or not, gain significance by rooting deeply into our wounds and building our identity with wounds as the framework. This is known as woundology.
Caroline Myss, medical intuitive, describes woundology as "a very expensive habit to keep your wound alive. The energy comes out of your cell system. Woundology is a form of scapegoatology, which means outside events and others are blamed for what a wounded person experiences."
We all know people who gain significance this way. They tell you about their painful childhood before introducing themselves. They alert you of their next medical appointment before asking how your day was. They show you all the files and materials and websites they've collected to help them "heal." Perhaps we've even been this person ourselves.
In our "selfie" culture where getting attention is an engrained social value, wounds are certainly sexier than health. They command the most attention. There is a shared intimacy and social authority that comes as a result of expressing hardship. And once we realize we have a captive audience, this kind of pain-power can become addicting if it's attention we seek.
If gaining significance from pain continues to drive us, then additional pain will continue to find us. We cannot be surprised by this. Furthermore, anchoring in our past wounds robs us of the opportunity to gain the insights that are inherent in the actual wound.
But I believe we are all meant to heal.
On the other side of pain sits wisdom and compassion. These gifts carry us further than any amount of attention ever will. Having an identity rooted in compassion and wisdom is something that will help us move through any wound with incredible skillful means.
Here's to genuine healing.
The next time you're tempted to share your wounds, ask yourself these questions:
Why am I doing this?
What do I get from this?
What's motivating me to share my story?
March 16-23, 2019